Habit Wisdom

How to Change an Unwanted Habit

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habits of successful people

We need to change to get what we want in  life. But how?

Our problem is not usually a lack of knowledge. Understanding the science behind how habits work can help.

Our problem tends to be more of a lack of motivation or a lack of appropriate habits to help us reach these achievements.

We want to form new habits, but we find ourselves coming up short again and again. This is a habit in and of itself, and it can end today. Read on to learn more about the anatomy of an effective habit and how to start creating sustainable change in your life.

How are Habits Formed

We don’t just want to offer up platitudes such as “only 60 days to form a new habit!” It may sound catchy, but many of us would quit before day 60 without the proper approach or support in place, right? Instead, by understanding how habits are formed and function, we can learn how to develop effective and sustainable habits.

As James Clear, the prolific writer of habits and human behavior, states, “The process of building a habit can be divided into four simple steps: cue, craving, response, and reward.”

The four stages are essentially a feedback loop and each needs to be addressed in order for a habit to build and persist.

Learn How our Brains Work:

    • The cue can be waking up.
    • The cravings can be wanting to feel alert
    • The response is to drink your favorite caffeinated beverage
    • The rewards are feeling more alert and thus caffeine begins to be associated with your mornings

The feedback loop reinforces itself. The habit forms. And think about how many times a day this plays out in your life. Your habits may be so ingrained in your daily routine that you don’t realize you have a choice about them.

A Step-by-Step Guide to Developing an Effective, Long-lasting Habit

Your life is essentially a collection of habits, meaning if you want to make changes to your life, you’ll need to change your habits. Thankfully, we can use this feedback loop to learn how to build new habits too. Here are our step-by-step suggestions to help you through this process:

Identify the Habit

  • You need to be specific if you want the new habit to stick.
  • It’s best to start small and gradually scale up.
  • As you experience success with small changes, it’ll be easier to find the motivation to continue the changes and build upon them.
  • In order to be successful, you’ll need to focus on the process.
  • Getting the small, actionable steps right is what is going to help you create the new habit.

Clarify the Feedback Process

  • You can use the framework from above to help you take these small steps and turn them into self-reinforcing feedback.
  • According to experts, you can create a good habit by asking yourself the following questions:
    • Cue: How can I make the cue obvious?
    • Craving: How can I make the craving attractive?
    • Response: How can I make the response easy?
    • Reward: How can I make the reward satisfying?

Create the Right Environment to Support the Change

  • We have an internal resistance to change, even if we know the new behavior would be good for us.
  • In order to counteract this natural tendency, it’s important to find or create a supportive environment that will make it easier to build good habits.
  • Self-discipline is not always enough to find the motivation we need.
  • Removing obstacles to your success from your physical environment.
  • Connecting with others who are trying to build the same new habits can help foster a healthy environment for change.

Practice Daily

  • Although we said no platitudes, science has shown that it can take more than two months to form a new habit (despite the claims of two weeks).
  • Practicing daily will reinforce the feedback loop and help build the connections in your brain that will turn this new activity into a habit.
  • There are online courses and apps to help remind you to stay on top of your progress.

Recover from Backsliding

  • It happens, even with the best new habit builders can sometimes slip-up.
  • Pause and remember “the why” – what was the main reason you wanted to make this new habit in the first place.
  • Consider why you slipped up and determine if you need to make any changes to your feedback loop, actionable steps or environment

Build a New Habit

Ultimately, the best way to build a new habit is the one you will actually follow. Using the framework and steps above, overcome challenges and create sustainable new habits. Change is possible. You just have to start small and be persistent.

Check out this article on the science of habits.  Science of Habits

Need help?   habit wisdom coaching

For a limited time Greg is offering laser coaching sessions at no charge to subscribers. Over the last several decades, Greg has coached and mentored scores of individuals to improve their lives by identifying habitual behaviors and what drives them, replacing unhelpful habits with effective ones.  To find out more about how laser coaching might benefit you, contact Greg at greg@habitwisdom.com

Habit of Procrastination Produces Inconsistent Results

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Break the habit of procrastination.

Most of the time the habit of procrastination comes from avoidance. We don’t want to do it because it may take something of us – such as making a call that will be very uncomfortable. This causes stress, which then creates more avoidance.

People then allow distractions with their phone, computer or other pleasant activities to take over the time they were to complete the task they are avoiding. Some people like to procrastinate and then get it done right before the deadline.  It can create anxiety but also a sense of victory.  It often leads to feeling exhausted. 

Procrastination and overwhelm can feed off each other and become a loop that is difficult to get out of and keep you from taking necessary action.  It can also come from stress you are under, which can be the result of not getting actions done in a timely manner.  Don’t berate yourself for procrastinating.  Forgive yourself and it helps you move forward.

When you have a lot going on in different projects, it is easy to feel you don’t know what to do next.  Overwhelm stops action and has the to-do list become a monster with all the actions that need attention.  Where do you start when all of them are important?  

Prioritizing your actions:

Start a different type of list.  To get out of the hole you are in, there are several things you can do.

  1. Write a list of everything you are avoiding.  Items could be personal, relationships, your health, or in your business.  You don’t want to avoid this since it is the first step, which is seeing where you are in all of it.  
  2. After making the list, select the top 3 actions you are avoiding the most and finish those first, giving yourself a ‘by when’ it will be done (and make it within days).  

These items often keep you from doing anything on your list, because these are the ones you know are important.  The rest of the list gets stagnant, waiting for the important ones you are avoiding.

After completing those actions you really don’t want to do, celebrate!  It feels so good!  And you will find that getting this done opens the flood gates to the rest of the list.  If your list is quite long, start again by selecting the top three you are avoiding the most and get those done as quickly as possible.

Prioritize the rest of the list to be done with a date and time (‘by when’), and you will find the list will get done much faster.

The most important action is to START!  “Chunk” the actions down if necessary.  Actions can be divided each day of the week for a specific amount of time.  Often when this is done, you will start and find yourself in the flow of finishing more than you set out to do.

Once you finish the Avoidance List, it is a freeing experience.  Continue to notice the times you are avoiding certain actions and get them done as soon as possible.  

Develop habits of a morning and evening routine:

Keep your avoidance list handy and create a simple routine for the morning that includes certain actions you need to start every day.  This could be a habit for what you need to do before leaving for work, or it might be making phone calls first thing when you arrive at work.  Make it simple and do it each day.

A friend of mine had a very simple routine for the mornings in this order: after waking up, make the bed, shower, dress, and empty the dishwasher. It almost sounds silly because they are such basic habits.  Yet it changed her day.  

She didn’t wait until later when things got more hectic; she handled whatever the morning and day would bring. You are ready to start the day.  Create a routine habit that works for you.

Create a simple routine habit for the evening; review your list and strike off what you already completed. Rewrite what you need to accomplish for the next day and prepare for how you will complete these items. .  

Create a habit where you include taking care of yourself.  Carve out time to have fun. Read that book that’s been on your desk for months. Spend time with family.

How Do We Rewire the habit of procrastination?

Procrastination isn’t about laziness or managing your time.  Often, we do other actions we love, to avoid what we don’t want to do.  We might organize a drawer, check all our emails, including the social section and promotions, look at Facebook and Twitter, watch TV or play a game on our iPad.  

According to Dr. Judson Brewer, Director of Research and Innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, “To rewire any habit, we have to give our brains the “Bigger Better Offer.”  

He cautions us to make sure our “Better Offer,” is not another way of avoiding the situation.  The solution must come from you and not from an outside source. 

The Power in You

You feel like you are drowning at times and overcome by overwhelm.  And you are the only one that can save yourself.  And that is good news!  You have the power to succeed.   

You can read more here:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.html

Creating Healthy Self-Esteem

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Self-Esteem

Developing a strong sense of self-esteem is essential to a healthy life. 

We can develop effective habits to support self-esteem once we understand the nature of self-esteem.

The definition of self-esteem is a confidence and satisfaction in oneself; a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities. How does that play out in our daily lives?  Most often, we look outside of ourselves for ways to build self-esteem: which runs from success through our jobs, our relationships, our achievements and accomplishments, what others think of us, and even what we own and how we look.

We will look for acceptance on Facebook posts to feel better about ourselves, only to be bullied by someone also looking for acceptance, but does this by putting someone else down.  This is dependent on sources outside of ourselves.  When we have success in the areas of these accomplishments, it builds our self-confidence.

But accomplishments don’t always build self-esteem.  How many times have you achieved something in your life, but it never felt enough?

Some people have an exaggerated sense of self and accomplishments, which often masks as high self-esteem, but is used to hide the low self-esteem within them.  They look for attention, status or notoriety and feel an emptiness inside, which sometimes gets propped up by addictive behaviors with alcohol, drugs, and sex. 

Not everyone with low self-esteem does this, but instead they suffer quietly.

What is healthy self-esteem?

In psychology, the term self-esteem is used to describe a person’s overall subjective sense of personal worth or value.  It isn’t based on external achievements, but how you see yourself.

Dr. Neil Burton, psychiatrist and author, feels we are all born with a healthy self-esteem and then our experiences either confirm that or they undermine our sense of self. A loving family will support you, while others will experience overly critical comments from those around them, both of which affect self-esteem.

People with a healthy self-esteem are not as affected by what others say, even when criticized.  They trust themselves and are able to make a decision without the fear it will be the ‘wrong’ one.  They tend to have a positive view of life and are kind to themselves.

We all have that self-talk in our minds that is endlessly giving opinions about what we think and do.  Much of that talk is very negative – “oh that was stupid, why did you do that?”  And the list of what is said to oneself goes on and on. This negative self-talk is often so constant that it goes unnoticed.  But the damage it does to us is not.  It makes us anxious, keeps us from making decisions and there is always doubt about ourselves.

Having a good self-esteem does not mean you will never have doubts.  But the doubts are more about thoughtfully questioning a situation before you act on it, rather than doubting yourself.

Actions to Improve Self-Esteem

Learn to speak to yourself in ways that are kind and interrupt the unkind words you are speaking.  Would you speak to a child with like that?  There is that childlike part of you that needs to be nurtured. As you practice these actions, you will be able to move beyond the disabling self-talk; won’t be stopped from taking positive action; and will grow in the process.

Notice the negative self-talk – These conversations undermine your self-worth. As you begin to notice the unkind ways you speak to yourself, is when you can then change.  Interrupt those words with a word or phrase that becomes a ‘time-out’ signal.

Turn a negative thought into a positive one – Most of these negative thoughts are not the truth about you.  They are old patterns that are still with you.  Stop those in their tracks.  Look at what you could say in a positive way.

Be kind to yourself – Say kind words to yourself, even if you feel you have messed up.  We all mess up from time to time.  No need to be so hard on yourself.  Lighten up.

Forgive yourself – Something may have been said or happened and you berate yourself for it.  This does not change anything, but does make you feel miserable.  Speak forgiving words to yourself and then let it go.

A friend of mine has a funny way of shifting the negative to the positive.  When she has a negative thought such as that was really stupid of me, she notices the thought, and then says, you are so adorable when you do that!

She laughs every time.  It shifts the mood.  It shifts what she says about herself and has her become so much kinder in her self-talk.

Habits that lead to healthy self-esteem

By developing these habits, you will be kinder with yourself and others, smile more often, be positive about life and your thinking, attract healthy relationships and have a self-worth that runs deep within you.  This is the inner source of a healthy self-esteem and with it, brings a happiness and contentment.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201411/the-secret-self-esteem

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-esteem-2795868

 

Habit of Commitment Gets Results!

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Child prepares for long climb

Making Commitment an Effective Habit

Most of us don’t think about commitment when it comes to habits.  But there is an important relationship between the two.  Commitment may mean the difference between success and business as usual. 

I know someone who discovered this when struggling to lose weight.    She kept a list of what she was to do and when it needed to be done, and created habits to fulfill that, within many areas of her life.  But it wasn’t working in the area of weight loss.

Habits that Didn’t Work

Why were the habits she created to succeed not working for her?  After a lot of thought, she asked herself, “What is my real commitment here?”  Surprising to her, it was,  “I want to eat what I want, whenever I want to.”  

The question became, “What can I be committed to?”  She started to type her thoughts and then remembered the energy she experienced before putting on the weight.  Her posture began to change, sitting up straight as she continued to type.

Thoughts streamed across the page – having fun, dancing, playing with the kids, feeling peaceful, joy, and more.  

Take Small Steps at First

The commitment became ‘having great health’ with all the habits within it to succeed, and give what that provides.  So the idea of having to lose weight-a heavy burden-became just one small action,  within a broader scope of the joy of great health.  

Over the next couple of weeks, she found that besides losing weight for health, she would also meditate and go for a daily walk, journal her thoughts in the mornings, pick something fun to do several times a week, and yes – focus on eating healthy, a completely different mindset. 

It wasn’t about the burden of losing weight anymore.  Habits were used to fulfill the new commitment that was discovered, and the process became very productive.  The weight loss happened easily and was just a part of many actions that had her feeling healthy and engaged in the process.  It was easier and fun to reach the goals.

Struggling with Ineffective Habits

Are you struggling with certain habits?  Look at why the goal is important to you and if your commitment is supporting what you want to achieve.  If it is, you will use the motivation to make it happen.   Rethink the commitment in a way that creates the one that calls to you.  Your habits will then point you to that goal.

This can be done in any area of your life where you find yourself struggling – finding a job, improving a relationship, achieving success with your goals.  It also lightens the load – the burden of it – and you can enjoy the process and have fun with it!  

Building on Commitment Success

The habit of making commitments becomes the gateway to success in your goals.  For more in-depth help on how to master the commitment habit, read this.

https://medium.com/personal-growth-lab/why-you-need-strong-commitment-to-a-goal-if-you-want-to-succeed-c5b095b5075f

Habit, Compulsion or Addiction?

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Habit, Compulsion or Addiction?

Understanding just how deeply entrenched a habit is, is a key step in knowing how to address it. Some habits are formed through conditioning, or repeat behavior. Others may be more ingrained and fulfill a physical or emotional need, or be the result of a chemical element. As the terms habit, compulsion and addiction have entered our vocabulary, they are often used inaccurately.

We define a habit, addiction and compulsion and explore the differences between these similar, but different conditions.

Habit

Habits are the result of repeated behaviors or actions. A habit is a learned association between a stimulus of some sort (e.g. red wine) and a response (drinking it) to achieve an outcome. (getting drunk or feeling good). Habits can be helpful or unhelpful.  Knowing the nature of your habits is the first step in developing an effective habit strategy.

Addiction

Addiction is a broad term used to describe the process by which a person becomes dependent on a behavior or substance to survive. Over time, the behavior or substance becomes so crucial to the individual that they will continue with it, even when it becomes clear that it is harmful to themselves or their relationships with their family and loved ones.

Compulsion

Compulsions are an overwhelming urge to perform a specific action. While it is possible for compulsions to lead to the development of long-term behaviors, this isn’t always the case. Typically, compulsions come into play when an individual has the strong urge to perform an action or use a substance.

What’s the difference?

When differentiating between a habit, an addiction and a compulsion, there are a number of factors to consider.

Withdrawal symptoms

One of the key factors distinguishing an addiction from a habit or compulsion is withdrawal symptoms. Individuals that are in the habit of doing something would not typically experience withdrawals like depression or anxiety when they stopped engaging in the behavior or using a substance. Those that were addicted on the other hand would.

Risky situations

Addicts will go to great lengths to perform a behavior or consume a substance. They put themselves and those around them in danger by taking risks to satisfy their addictions. Willingly putting oneself in risky situations is telling and if an individual engages in this behavior, it’s likely that their habit has progressed into an addiction.

Feelings of pleasure

Unlike addiction, there is no element of pleasure in a compulsion. Those affected by obsessive-compulsive disorder, even when they are driven by compulsion, do not typically experience pleasure.  To compare, individuals in the grips of an addiction usually experience a rush of pleasure when they perform the behavior or consume the substance that is the focus of their addiction.

There often comes a time for addicted individuals where they no longer gain a sense of pleasure from a substance or behavior, continuing to do it only to satisfy their addiction.

Awareness

Awareness of reality also comes into play when differentiating between a habit, addiction and compulsion. While those with strong compulsions are typically in touch with reality and are aware of the bizarre nature of their compulsions, those entrenched in habit or in the grips of an addiction are often unattached and care about little other than getting their next fix.

As we mentioned previously, habits, addictions and compulsions do have considerable overlap so proper diagnosis should only be performed by a trained healthcare professional. No two individuals are alike, and the specific diagnosis of an individual takes into account many factors specific to that person.

While the information above is accurate, it should be taken as a guide only and not in place of a proper medical opinion.

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-difference-between-an-addiction-and-a-compulsion-22240

Habit vs. Addiction: 4 Questions To Determine The Difference

Benefits of Mindfulness as a Habit

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With a quick internet search, you can find a helpful seven to ten step list for developing a mindful approach to nearly anything in your life.

A mindful way to…

  • Lose weight
  • Reduce stress
  • Improve business success
  • Recover from addiction
  • Raise kids
  • Be happier
  • Recover from depression
  • Cope with anxiety
  • Manage pain and chronic illness
  • Enhance sports performance

The possibilities are endless. We are truly in the midst of a mindfulness revolution.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is an innate part of being. Any time you literally stop to smell the roses or truly enjoy every bite of watermelon on a hot day, you are being mindful. Whenever you allow yourself to feel your sadness without distracting yourself with your smartphone, you are being mindful.

There are many ways to define mindfulness, but at its core it means to be fully present with whatever you are doing or experiencing without overwhelmed by external events or conditions.

It’s a practice of bringing your attention back to the present moment. While mindfulness is innate, it can be learned and improved as well, often through the practice of meditation.

It has its roots in Buddhist teachings, but it is a secular practice. Mindfulness is often credited to Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, who recognized the power of meditation to help reduce stress and developed an eight-week program called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) in the 1970s. He also created the Stress Reduction Clinic and Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as, “a means of paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmental.”

Does Mindfulness Really Help?

Whether or not mindfulness is effective depends on your goals for learning about the technique. Scientific research into the effects of mindfulness and meditation has only been going on for a few decades, but here are a few key areas in which mindfulness has been shown to improve people’s lives:

Stress

Thanks largely to John Kabat-Zinn’s medical background, there has been a growing body of evidence supporting the effectiveness of mindfulness for reducing stress. Additional studies have supported Kabat-Zinn’s initial findings.

Learning and Memory

A study at Harvard showed that meditation can increase gray-matter density in the hippocampus and decrease gray-matter density in the amygdala. It’s one of the first studies to show how meditation changes the brain for the better. These changes support better learning and memory functioning and lower stress levels.

Anxiety

Research from Massachusetts General Hospital, Bender Institute of Neuroimaging and Justus-Liebig University in Germany showed that mindfulness training can be effective in alleviating General Anxiety Disorder.

Post-Traumatic Stress

Researchers from University of Michigan demonstrated that mindfulness techniques could be helpful to combat veterans dealing with post-traumatic stress.

Depression

Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) has been shown to help prevent depressive relapses and reduce the dependence on antidepressant medication.

Addiction

Drawing from MBSR and MBCT, a new form of addiction treatment called Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention (MBRP) has been developed at the University of Washington to help individuals recover from addiction. Initial research shows the program has been effective in lowering the risk of relapse.

Chronic Pain

Pain is a subjective experience, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. One study showed that after four-days of mindfulness training, pain-unpleasantness decreased by more than 50%.

Sleep Problems

MBSR has been shown to lower sleep problem scores but research suggests that ongoing mindfulness is needed for these effects to continue.

Eating Disturbances and Weight-Loss

Mindful eating, or paying attention to the colors, smells, textures and flavors of what you are eating, may be able to help individuals who want to lose weight or who suffer from disordered eating such as binge eating. This is often one of the first exercises you do in an MBSR course.

Focus

Mindfulness is a way of training your brain to focus. Developing this skill can have significant implications on academic performance and sports performance.

Decision Making

A study from INSEAD and University of Pennsylvania suggested that a simple 15-minute mindfulness meditation could help individuals make better decisions and avoid typical sunk-cost biases.

Some of these studies have been criticized for their small sample size or lack of follow-up, but gradually research is becoming more robust. Developments in technology, such as functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) which can measure brain activity, are helping add credibility to research findings.

Get Ready to Meditate

Everyone defines happiness and success differently, but research suggests there are enough positive benefits to give mindfulness a try. When selecting a program or a new technique to learn, it’s important to evaluate the experience of the instructors and your goals to make sure it’s a good fit. With the rise of mindfulness – it’s approximately a $1 billion business in the US now – you should be able to find a high-quality mindfulness instructor in your area.

Wrapping It Up

Training your brain to focus and be mindful has lots of good benefits. Try it today for a minute and work your way up to 5 minutes at a time.

Yours Free: The 21 Daily Habits That Will Help You Succeed In Life

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Struggling to Find Happiness

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The concept of happiness has different definitions for different people.

According to Psychology Today, most experts define a happy individual as “someone who experiences frequent positive emotions, such as joy, interest, and pride, and infrequent (though not absent) negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, and anger.”

So what causes us to be happy or unhappy? Can we develop happiness as a habit? 

To understand that, we must first look at the contributing factors to both happiness and unhappiness, why it can be so difficult to sustain positive emotions that lead to happiness, and how to make choices that create a lasting state of positivity and joy.

What causes us to be unhappy?

There are many underlying causes for persistent unhappiness. For people who grew up in unhappy homes and families where negativity and conflict were the presiding themes, happiness may be unrecognizable because it has never been present.

Others may allow negative thought patterns to take root and stifle any hint of positive thinking. Guilt over bad habits and unhealthy life choices can also pile on to an overall sense of unhappiness and discontentment with life.

According to a recent survey, only 33% of adults in the United States claim to be happy, which means a staggering two-thirds of the population is still looking for happiness. Where do they look for it?

The search for happiness

We search for happiness in countless ways. Some believe that a bigger paycheck will finally push us past unhappiness and into contentment. Others find temporary happiness in buying things they don’t need, but find that the positive emotions are fleeting, and soon replaced by feelings of regret and stress about finances.

The search for happiness isn’t limited to the desire for money or possessions. Many unhappy people believe that a new (or improved) relationship will bring lasting happiness, while some shift the blame for their unhappiness to other people, hoping they will naturally feel better by avoiding negative feelings.

The common thread of nearly everyone seeking happiness is a constant compulsion to look for “the next good thing.” By never settling into and enjoying the present, these people feel that happiness is hiding around the bend, and just out of reach.

Why is happiness so elusive for some?

Happiness seems like an impossible dream for many. When we are tied to emotions that stifle positivity and contentment, we become pessimistic and unhappy.

To overcome the downward pull of negative emotion, we must first recognize what triggers our unhappy feelings. Maybe it’s a fear of change that keeps us firmly planted in a job or relationship that makes us unhappy. It could be a lack of self-esteem that whispers the lie that we don’t deserve to be happy.

Whatever the cause, we must acknowledge that life doesn’t wait for ideal conditions and then drop unlimited happiness in our laps. To find happiness, we must first know how and where to look.

Happiness isn’t a one-size-fits-all

Our perceptions of happiness are as unique as our fingerprints. Our personalities play a large role in our ability to feel happy or not. For example, researchers have found that extroverts tend to be happier than their introverted counterparts.

Why?

Because they are generally surrounded by people and stay active with social engagements and human interaction. Don’t despair, introverts– studies have also shown that non-extroverts can boost happiness by simply thinking about and emulating the behavior of extroverts.

Does this mean that a very contented introvert is just lying to themselves, believing they are happy when they aren’t? Of course not.

No matter your personality type, your happiness will be defined by your comfort level in who you are. We are born with certain personality traits part of our very core. While it’s healthy to push ourselves to try new things and reach outside of our comfort zones, happiness won’t come from trying to be someone we are not.

As we examine which elements of our personalities contribute to feelings of joy and satisfaction and those that do not, we need to remember that we’re all unique and the beginning of happiness depends on our ability to accept and nurture who we are.

Choosing to be happy

As you shed unhappiness and learn what fills your life with purpose and contentment, make a conscious effort to feed the thoughts and habits that support a more joyous life.

Note what makes you happy.

  • Is it sharing in the joy of others?
  • Supporting a meaningful cause?
  • Spending time in nature?

Lasting happiness takes practice. No one will do the work of creating happiness for you while you sit by and wait. It’s the responsibility of each of us to discover and cultivate the pathways that lead us to lasting joy.

Habits of Happy and Successful People

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One of the most effective behaviors is developing habits practiced by happy and successful people.

 

habits of successful people

Now’s a great time to reflect on what’s working in your life and what isn’t. Fixing the dysfunctional aspects of your life isn’t easy. If it were our world would be populated entirely by perfectly adjusted people. What causes most people to fail to change their habits is inertia. Add lack of consistency, and lack of focus. Let’s take a look at those factors.

The first factor that sabotages the creation of good habits is inertia. Humans tend to gravitate toward doing what’s easy and what they’ve always done rather than what’s best for them and others. Recognizing those tendencies and desiring to change are the first steps toward success.

It’s Not Enough to Just Want to Change

It’s not enough to just want to change: we must be consistent about practicing a new habit. Consistency is key.  If you consistently practice your new habit for 30 days, it will become your regular behavior.

Many people decide to change too many aspects of their lives at one time. They become so overwhelmed that they fail to follow through with any of their new habits. It’s best to pick one habit at a time, work on it for 30 days, and then work on developing a second new habit while you maintain the first.

The new-habit-every-30-days approach may be too much for you, especially for a habit that fundamentally changes the way you live your life. If it feels like you’re rushing things, slow down. But whatever you do, get started!

Although it can be difficult to establish new habits, the rewards are well worth it. Being consistent in at least one or two of these small habits tends to spill over—in a good way—into other areas of your life.

Most happy, successful people adopt common physical, mental, and emotional habits. Determine which habits resonate with you, and which ones you think will improve your life. Take action, stay consistent, and adopt one habit at a time!

Without further ado, here are some physical, mental and emotional habits that many happy, successful people swear by:

Physical

Get some sleep. To start with, take a cue from highly successful people like Jeff Bezos, who makes good sleep a priority. Without quality sleep, you cannot be as alert or productive, so you’re effectively spinning your wheels. Shut off the devices and come up with a sleep ritual to plan for 7-8 hours. According to Dan Buettner, who wrote the Blue Zones of Happiness after researching the happiest populations around the world, “people who sleep 6 hours a night are 30% less happy than people who sleep more.”

Wake up early. Thankfully, when you get enough sleep, you’re alert and ready to tackle your morning. CEOs like Tim Cook of Apple wake up as early as 3:45am to start their days exercising and tackling email before the distractions of the day detract from your focus. Some use the time to catch up on markets that have previously opened, while others use it to prepare for the day ahead. Even if you don’t consider yourself a morning person, give this one a try. There’s a lot to like about maximizing your time while the rest of the world is snoozing.

Get moving. Happy and successful people prioritize their health. After all, what good are your achievements if you’re not around to enjoy them? According to Fortune Magazine, most of the Fortune 500 CEOs interviewed make time for some form of exercise each day. According to an interview in Tim Ferris’s “The 4-Hour Body,” Richard Branson, of Virgin fame, swears that exercise provides him with up to four extra hours of productivity. Besides, exercise is a great way to boost those feel-good endorphins. A final bonus is that the discipline and investment into your health are the backbone of the mind-body connection that you hear so much about.

Mental

Before you get going, schedule some time to consciously frame your day and clear your mind. Oprah does it—and if it’s good enough for Oprah, it’s worth looking into! Oprah believes in meditation so strongly that she offers meditation instruction to all her employees. She credits meditation throughout her team with “improved relationships with spouses, children, coworkers,” benefits family and friends through a better, more defined sense of self and mental clarity.Meditation gives you a chance to focus, center, and ground your thoughts. The discipline of meditation also allows for enhanced creativity, problem-solving capability and stress relief. To get yourself going, try the Calm or Headspace apps for guided meditations.

Learn something new every day. Bill Gates reads constantly before bed and attributes much of his success to a curious approach to life. Gates says, “Every book teaches me something new or helps me see things differently… Reading fuels a sense of curiosity about the world, which I think helped drive me forward in my career and in the work that I do now with my foundation.” He also credits learning with keeping him young. Again, if this habit works for one of the world’s wealthiest men, don’t you think it’s worth looking into?

Emotional

Take stock. Happy, flourishing people constantly engage in self-reflection. Consistent journal writing habits can help you process your reactions to situations. Knowing yourself and the way that you operate is vital to how you approach future obstacles and learn from past mistakes. Putting these thoughts into a daily journal provides a way for you to process and evaluate decisions and optimize how to move forward. If you live through your experiences but don’t reflect on them, you’re missing out on valuable lessons, and you may unwittingly condemn yourself to repeat your errors. When you write things down, you notice patterns that can help you in your future endeavors.

Invest in people and relationships. Truly happy people often engage in random acts of kindness, volunteerism, or other selfless activities. Investing in personal relationships leads to a greater sense of community and connection with friends and relatives—all of which are vital to living a long and fulfilled life. Longevity expert Dan Buettner, who has extensively studied long-lived populations, finds that these populations are the happiest. Buettner offers this secret to happiness: “Make a new happy friend—that’s one of the best things you can do. Your happiness will go up. People who find meaningful ways to give back are happier.”

Takeaways

The happiest and most successful people constantly invest in themselves and others. Fundamentally, you only invest in things of value, and the only way to show any marked improvement year over year is to practice consistency. So pick something small to start with—find a way to improve yourself or give back that works with your schedule and makes you feel good. If it’s something worthwhile that you enjoy, carve out time for it and craft a plan to stick with it. At the end of the first month, you will probably be so pleased with your progress you’ll choose to add on another habit.

These habits are widely practiced by the best and brightest because they’re fundamental to leading a balanced and well-rounded existence. Through each of these habits, there is a decided benefit to taking the time to understand yourself and what works for you. Couple that with the desire to keep improving, action, and discipline, and you’ll be unstoppable!

The Science of Healthy Habits—Your Path to Success

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