Top Success Habits: Resilience & Persistence

July 23, 2022 By Greg

What makes very successful people different? THE top success habits are resilience and persistence. Resilience is the mental ability to recover quickly from misfortune or discouragement. Persistence means refusing to give up. To achieve success we must harness the power of resilence and persistence.

Strategies for Becoming Resilient

Build a Support Network

Having a great support system helps give that bounce needed after experiencing failure. Try to build relationships with close family members and friends and be open to accepting help from people who listen during those trying times. Support can also be sought from faith-based organizations and other social groups where you’re active.

Look Into The Future

Yes, stressful events will happen and that’s not something you can change, but you need to develop a positive outlook and an understanding that this phase will pass. Look out for activities that improve your mood as you deal with these harsh challenges and try to do more of them.

Accept That Change Is Constant

Some things will just not go as planned, some plans will need to be modified and while experiencing these setbacks could be depressing, understanding that there’s only so little you can control could be relieving. When a goal becomes unattainable, adjusting to the next best scenario should be considered.

Small Wins Build Resilience

When you’ve recently failed at something, developing the confidence needed to try again should be the first line of action. One way to do that is by moving towards easily achievable goals. Ask yourself, “What’s the one realistic goal I know I can accomplish today?” Then go do it.

Take Action

You can’t wish stressful challenges away, developing a plan (even one that may eventually fail) to solve the problem is the best way to handle situations like this. Try finding out how people in similar situations handled the problem and look for strategies to apply in your case.

Care for Yourself

Take your mental health seriously, take some time to clear your head if necessary and get involved in some relaxing activities. Mediation, self-talk and deep breathing are some exercises that concentrate specifically on mental health. Training the mind to process setbacks by kick-starting recovery is an excellent form of natural healing. People with persistence keep going; they never give up (They may “let go” of unhelpful approaches but they DON’T GIVE UP.) How do you build this important trait?

Developing Persistence

Identify Your Goals

You need to identify your goals so you can concentrate on achieving them. Try reducing your desires to a realistic number because persistence requires focus and you just can’t focus on too many things at the same time. Write down those goals, no matter how impossible they seem because those notes will keep you going even when you’re not at your best.

Discover Your Motivation

Why do you want to achieve those goals? The answer to that is your motivation and that’s another source of energy to keep you on course. If your motivation is something controversial, you may want to keep that to yourself. Not everyone likes the fact that there are people who start businesses to make as much money as they can.

Maintain A Positive Outlook

Persistence means pushing on even when there’s no clear sign of success. You need a positive mental attitude to keep you going even when you harbor doubt about the outcome of your goal. Build or join mastermind groups including people with positive vibes who can give unbiased judgments when you’re beginning to succumb to these negative thoughts.

Discipline and Persistence

There are many with talent but very few with discipline. Determination is key. How far are you ready to go and what sacrifices are you willing to make to achieve your goal? Any goal you’re trying to achieve will alter a thing or two about your normal schedule and it takes discipline to stay on this part for a future good.

Expect A Challenge

Too many people expect an easy path to their success and when things don’t go as planned they give up. Persistent people expect the hard way so when those challenges come, they’re mentally prepared for them. It’s probably going to take more time than you thought and this is something you should be ready for.

Learn From Successful People

Getting inspiration from those who’ve walked your path could be inspiring. Thomas Edison was known to have failed a lot of times before getting it right with his inventions. That’s a good example of how persistence can result in success. You can check for other examples of success stories even in your field that you can learn from. When you meet life’s challenges with resilience and persistence, you’re definitely coming out victorious so use the tips in this post to develop these two important traits.

How to Change an Unwanted Habit

June 14, 2022 By Greg

We need to change to get what we want in life. But how?

Our problem is not usually a lack of knowledge. Understanding the science behind how habits work can help.

Our problem tends to be more of a lack of motivation or a lack of appropriate habits to help us reach these achievements.

We want to form new habits, but we find ourselves coming up short again and again. This is a habit in and of itself, and it can end today. Read on to learn more about the anatomy of an effective habit and how to start creating sustainable change in your life.

How are Habits Formed

We don’t just want to offer up platitudes such as “only 60 days to form a new habit!” It may sound catchy, but many of us would quit before day 60 without the proper approach or support in place, right? Instead, by understanding how habits are formed and function, we can learn how to develop effective and sustainable habits.

As James Clear, the prolific writer of habits and human behavior, states, “The process of building a habit can be divided into four simple steps: cue, craving, response, and reward.”

The four stages are essentially a feedback loop and each needs to be addressed in order for a habit to build and persist.

Learn How our Brains Work:

- The cue can be waking up.
- The cravings can be wanting to feel alert
- The response is to drink your favorite caffeinated beverage
- The rewards are feeling more alert and thus caffeine begins to be associated with your mornings

The feedback loop reinforces itself. The habit forms. And think about how many times a day this plays out in your life. Your habits may be so ingrained in your daily routine that you don’t realize you have a choice about them.

A Step-by-Step Guide to Developing an Effective, Long-lasting Habit

Your life is essentially a collection of habits, meaning if you want to make changes to your life, you’ll need to change your habits. Thankfully, we can use this feedback loop to learn how to build new habits too. Here are our step-by-step suggestions to help you through this process:

Identify the Habit

You need to be specific if you want the new habit to stick.
It’s best to start small and gradually scale up.
As you experience success with small changes, it’ll be easier to find the motivation to continue the changes and build upon them.
In order to be successful, you’ll need to focus on the process.
Getting the small, actionable steps right is what is going to help you create the new habit.

Clarify the Feedback Process

You can use the framework from above to help you take these small steps and turn them into self-reinforcing feedback.
According to experts, you can create a good habit by asking yourself the following questions:
- Cue: How can I make the cue obvious?
- Craving: How can I make the craving attractive?
- Response: How can I make the response easy?
- Reward: How can I make the reward satisfying?

Create the Right Environment to Support the Change

We have an internal resistance to change, even if we know the new behavior would be good for us.
In order to counteract this natural tendency, it’s important to find or create a supportive environment that will make it easier to build good habits.
Self-discipline is not always enough to find the motivation we need.
Removing obstacles to your success from your physical environment.
Connecting with others who are trying to build the same new habits can help foster a healthy environment for change.

Practice Daily

Although we said no platitudes, science has shown that it can take more than two months to form a new habit (despite the claims of two weeks).
Practicing daily will reinforce the feedback loop and help build the connections in your brain that will turn this new activity into a habit.
There are online courses and apps to help remind you to stay on top of your progress.

Recover from Backsliding

It happens, even with the best new habit builders can sometimes slip-up.
Pause and remember “the why” – what was the main reason you wanted to make this new habit in the first place.
Consider why you slipped up and determine if you need to make any changes to your feedback loop, actionable steps or environment

Build a New Habit

Ultimately, the best way to build a new habit is the one you will actually follow. Using the framework and steps above, overcome challenges and create sustainable new habits. Change is possible. You just have to start small and be persistent.

Check out this article on the science of habits. Science of Habits

Need help?

For a limited time Greg is offering laser coaching sessions at no charge to subscribers. Over the last several decades, Greg has coached and mentored scores of individuals to improve their lives by identifying habitual behaviors and what drives them, replacing unhelpful habits with effective ones. To find out more about how laser coaching might benefit you, contact Greg at greg@habitwisdom.com

Habit of Procrastination Produces Inconsistent Results

February 24, 2022 By Greg

Break the habit of procrastination.

Most of the time the habit of procrastination comes from avoidance. We don’t want to do it because it may take something of us – such as making a call that will be very uncomfortable. This causes stress, which then creates more avoidance.

People then allow distractions with their phone, computer or other pleasant activities to take over the time they were to complete the task they are avoiding. Some people like to procrastinate and then get it done right before the deadline. It can create anxiety but also a sense of victory. It often leads to feeling exhausted.

Procrastination and overwhelm can feed off each other and become a loop that is difficult to get out of and keep you from taking necessary action. It can also come from stress you are under, which can be the result of not getting actions done in a timely manner. Don’t berate yourself for procrastinating. Forgive yourself and it helps you move forward.

When you have a lot going on in different projects, it is easy to feel you don’t know what to do next. Overwhelm stops action and has the to-do list become a monster with all the actions that need attention. Where do you start when all of them are important?

Prioritizing your actions:

Start a different type of list. To get out of the hole you are in, there are several things you can do.

Write a list of everything you are avoiding. Items could be personal, relationships, your health, or in your business. You don’t want to avoid this since it is the first step, which is seeing where you are in all of it.
After making the list, select the top 3 actions you are avoiding the most and finish those first, giving yourself a ‘by when’ it will be done (and make it within days).

These items often keep you from doing anything on your list, because these are the ones you know are important. The rest of the list gets stagnant, waiting for the important ones you are avoiding.

After completing those actions you really don’t want to do, celebrate! It feels so good! And you will find that getting this done opens the flood gates to the rest of the list. If your list is quite long, start again by selecting the top three you are avoiding the most and get those done as quickly as possible.

Prioritize the rest of the list to be done with a date and time (‘by when’), and you will find the list will get done much faster.

The most important action is to START! “Chunk” the actions down if necessary. Actions can be divided each day of the week for a specific amount of time. Often when this is done, you will start and find yourself in the flow of finishing more than you set out to do.

Once you finish the Avoidance List, it is a freeing experience. Continue to notice the times you are avoiding certain actions and get them done as soon as possible.

Develop habits of a morning and evening routine:

Keep your avoidance list handy and create a simple routine for the morning that includes certain actions you need to start every day. This could be a habit for what you need to do before leaving for work, or it might be making phone calls first thing when you arrive at work. Make it simple and do it each day.

A friend of mine had a very simple routine for the mornings in this order: after waking up, make the bed, shower, dress, and empty the dishwasher. It almost sounds silly because they are such basic habits. Yet it changed her day.

She didn’t wait until later when things got more hectic; she handled whatever the morning and day would bring. You are ready to start the day. Create a routine habit that works for you.

Create a simple routine habit for the evening; review your list and strike off what you already completed. Rewrite what you need to accomplish for the next day and prepare for how you will complete these items. .

Create a habit where you include taking care of yourself. Carve out time to have fun. Read that book that’s been on your desk for months. Spend time with family.

How Do We Rewire the habit of procrastination?

Procrastination isn’t about laziness or managing your time. Often, we do other actions we love, to avoid what we don’t want to do. We might organize a drawer, check all our emails, including the social section and promotions, look at Facebook and Twitter, watch TV or play a game on our iPad.

According to Dr. Judson Brewer, Director of Research and Innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, “To rewire any habit, we have to give our brains the “Bigger Better Offer.”

He cautions us to make sure our “Better Offer,” is not another way of avoiding the situation. The solution must come from you and not from an outside source.

The Power in You

You feel like you are drowning at times and overcome by overwhelm. And you are the only one that can save yourself. And that is good news! You have the power to succeed.

You can read more here:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.html

Creating Healthy Self-Esteem

January 13, 2022 By Greg

Self-Esteem

Developing a strong sense of self-esteem is essential to a healthy life.

We can develop effective habits to support self-esteem once we understand the nature of self-esteem.

The definition of self-esteem is a confidence and satisfaction in oneself; a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities. How does that play out in our daily lives? Most often, we look outside of ourselves for ways to build self-esteem: which runs from success through our jobs, our relationships, our achievements and accomplishments, what others think of us, and even what we own and how we look.

We will look for acceptance on Facebook posts to feel better about ourselves, only to be bullied by someone also looking for acceptance, but does this by putting someone else down. This is dependent on sources outside of ourselves. When we have success in the areas of these accomplishments, it builds our self-confidence.

But accomplishments don’t always build self-esteem. How many times have you achieved something in your life, but it never felt enough?

Some people have an exaggerated sense of self and accomplishments, which often masks as high self-esteem, but is used to hide the low self-esteem within them. They look for attention, status or notoriety and feel an emptiness inside, which sometimes gets propped up by addictive behaviors with alcohol, drugs, and sex.

Not everyone with low self-esteem does this, but instead they suffer quietly.

What is healthy self-esteem?

In psychology, the term self-esteem is used to describe a person’s overall subjective sense of personal worth or value. It isn’t based on external achievements, but how you see yourself.

Dr. Neil Burton, psychiatrist and author, feels we are all born with a healthy self-esteem and then our experiences either confirm that or they undermine our sense of self. A loving family will support you, while others will experience overly critical comments from those around them, both of which affect self-esteem.

People with a healthy self-esteem are not as affected by what others say, even when criticized. They trust themselves and are able to make a decision without the fear it will be the ‘wrong’ one. They tend to have a positive view of life and are kind to themselves.

We all have that self-talk in our minds that is endlessly giving opinions about what we think and do. Much of that talk is very negative – “oh that was stupid, why did you do that?” And the list of what is said to oneself goes on and on. This negative self-talk is often so constant that it goes unnoticed. But the damage it does to us is not. It makes us anxious, keeps us from making decisions and there is always doubt about ourselves.

Having a good self-esteem does not mean you will never have doubts. But the doubts are more about thoughtfully questioning a situation before you act on it, rather than doubting yourself.

Actions to Improve Self-Esteem

Learn to speak to yourself in ways that are kind and interrupt the unkind words you are speaking. Would you speak to a child with like that? There is that childlike part of you that needs to be nurtured. As you practice these actions, you will be able to move beyond the disabling self-talk; won’t be stopped from taking positive action; and will grow in the process.

Notice the negative self-talk – These conversations undermine your self-worth. As you begin to notice the unkind ways you speak to yourself, is when you can then change. Interrupt those words with a word or phrase that becomes a ‘time-out’ signal.

Turn a negative thought into a positive one – Most of these negative thoughts are not the truth about you. They are old patterns that are still with you. Stop those in their tracks. Look at what you could say in a positive way.

Be kind to yourself – Say kind words to yourself, even if you feel you have messed up. We all mess up from time to time. No need to be so hard on yourself. Lighten up.

Forgive yourself – Something may have been said or happened and you berate yourself for it. This does not change anything, but does make you feel miserable. Speak forgiving words to yourself and then let it go.

A friend of mine has a funny way of shifting the negative to the positive. When she has a negative thought such as that was really stupid of me, she notices the thought, and then says, you are so adorable when you do that!

She laughs every time. It shifts the mood. It shifts what she says about herself and has her become so much kinder in her self-talk.

Habits that lead to healthy self-esteem

By developing these habits, you will be kinder with yourself and others, smile more often, be positive about life and your thinking, attract healthy relationships and have a self-worth that runs deep within you. This is the inner source of a healthy self-esteem and with it, brings a happiness and contentment.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201411/the-secret-self-esteem

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-esteem-2795868

Journaling Every Day

November 30, 2021 By Greg

**Not Journaling Every Day? Try this.**

Journaling is not a one-of-a-kind process or subject matter. Some people journal about their travels, their relationships, and funny things their kids say.

Others may ask themselves deeper questions to discover their own answers within. Many have wanted to start journaling, but give up soon after they start, so it never becomes a habit. They often feel like they don’t know what to say.

A friend who has been journaling every day for many years, sat at a coffee shop one morning, writing in her journal.

A high school student who worked there came over, pulled out a chair and sat down across from her. “Are you journaling?” he asked. Her reply was “Yes.” He continued, “My therapist said I should journal, but I just couldn’t. How do you do it?” So she gave him tips on how to start and keep writing often.

She saw him two weeks later and as she walked into the coffee shop, he came up and gave her a big hug. “I’ve been journaling every day for two weeks and I feel so good! It wasn’t hard.”

What can journaling every day do for you?

Journaling every day is a powerful habit that allows you to explore your thoughts and feelings and become aware of how to address them. It can have you discover what is getting in your way in areas of your life, relationships, goals, job – and recognize healthy solutions.

To move on from something that upset you, also takes a vulnerability to feel the discomfort or pain that you have attached to a problem. People will often say to just move past the discomfort, yet doing so without getting in touch with the emotions of it, will have them come up to again to bite you later.

Exploring the feelings and discomfort through journaling, allows you to let it go, so when you choose a positive version, it’s not sitting on top of the negative.

Tips for journaling every day

Tip: Start small – Commit yourself to do it every day for a week and do one page per day, morning or evening. You may want to do both after you start.

As with any success in forming a new habit it takes time, and especially in the beginning of the process. Write in a place where you have few distractions. After journaling awhile, you may find you can journal in the middle of a lot of noise.

Writers get stopped most often because they have no idea what to say. “It’s a beautiful day. I fed the dog this morning,” and then they quit because they are at a loss for words.

Practice writing by saying whatever thought comes into your mind. There is an endless supply. Maybe it’s “I have no idea what to say next.“ This gets you into a stream of thoughts. You aren’t ‘thinking’ what to say as much as becoming a vessel for the thoughts to be expressed. You will get into an effortless and energizing flow with your writing.

Write with pen and paper instead of typing. A brain study showed that journaling every day by hand boosts brain activity and fine motor skills, which they believe is helpful in learning and memory.

Tip: Start with a gratitude list of at least 5 things. After writing them down, jot down a few things about each of the 5 items. Why is that item on the list?

You may find over time that you have gratitude for things you find hard or upsetting. It might surprise you. Write how you could be grateful – what did you learn? What did it teach you?

Habit of journaling creates a powerful perspective

Journaling every day opens your inner world where you get to know yourself, what stops you in life, how to move through it, and where you excel. It lightens you. You get to choose. It also affects all parts of your life, and with the addition of the gratitude list, you will see everything in your life with gratitude. What a way to start your morning!

To read more on journaling go to: How Journaling Can Help You in Hard Times

Habit of Commitment Gets Results!

November 16, 2021 By Greg

Making Commitment an Effective Habit

Most of us don’t think about commitment when it comes to habits. But there is an important relationship between the two. Commitment may mean the difference between success and business as usual.

I know someone who discovered this when struggling to lose weight. She kept a list of what she was to do and when it needed to be done, and created habits to fulfill that, within many areas of her life. But it wasn’t working in the area of weight loss.

Habits that Didn’t Work

Why were the habits she created to succeed not working for her? After a lot of thought, she asked herself, “What is my real commitment here?” Surprising to her, it was, “I want to eat what I want, whenever I want to.”

The question became, “What can I be committed to?” She started to type her thoughts and then remembered the energy she experienced before putting on the weight. Her posture began to change, sitting up straight as she continued to type.

Thoughts streamed across the page – having fun, dancing, playing with the kids, feeling peaceful, joy, and more.

Take Small Steps at First

The commitment became ‘having great health’ with all the habits within it to succeed, and give what that provides. So the idea of having to lose weight-a heavy burden-became just one small action, within a broader scope of the joy of great health.

Over the next couple of weeks, she found that besides losing weight for health, she would also meditate and go for a daily walk, journal her thoughts in the mornings, pick something fun to do several times a week, and yes – focus on eating healthy, a completely different mindset.

It wasn’t about the burden of losing weight anymore. Habits were used to fulfill the new commitment that was discovered, and the process became very productive. The weight loss happened easily and was just a part of many actions that had her feeling healthy and engaged in the process. It was easier and fun to reach the goals.

Struggling with Ineffective Habits

Are you struggling with certain habits? Look at why the goal is important to you and if your commitment is supporting what you want to achieve. If it is, you will use the motivation to make it happen. Rethink the commitment in a way that creates the one that calls to you. Your habits will then point you to that goal.

This can be done in any area of your life where you find yourself struggling – finding a job, improving a relationship, achieving success with your goals. It also lightens the load – the burden of it – and you can enjoy the process and have fun with it!

Building on Commitment Success

The habit of making commitments becomes the gateway to success in your goals. For more in-depth help on how to master the commitment habit, read this.

https://medium.com/personal-growth-lab/why-you-need-strong-commitment-to-a-goal-if-you-want-to-succeed-c5b095b5075f

Is Happiness a Choice?

May 29, 2020 By Greg

Surviving a pandemic. A good relationship. A nice car. A decent job. Most people think being happy is dependent upon external success. But for most, something is missing. What makes people experience happiness? Some people seem to be happy, no matter what they do. Others have a hard time getting out of bed. But there is a third way: happiness is a choice.

Is there a universal formula?

Do you choose happiness or does happiness choose you? Truth is, some people are more inclined to experience positive emotions than others. Perhaps it’s their personality traits or genetics. In the end, they go through life being carefree and happy, effortlessly.

But not everyone is lucky in that regard. It doesn’t mean they don’t get to live a good life though. It just means they have to put in the extra work. For these people, they have to choose joy and peace; they have to make a conscious effort to be happy. Everyday.

“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are, it solely relies on what you think.” The idea of choosing your own thoughts is certainly not new. It seems to be a constant theme in the pursuit of happiness. From stoics to Buddhism to minimalism. Taking control of your mind means taking control of your life.

The modern way of living runs counter to that. The hectic, fast-paced life most people have fills their mind with clutter and unnecessary burdens. They do things mindlessly, without purpose. They’re bombarded with information, news, noise. And when it’s time to relax and unwind, they experience great resistance. In the end, they get burned out.

The solution?

Choose your thoughts. Choose your purpose. Choose your life.

One day at a time…
In 2020, it’s almost a sin to be unhappy.

“But you have everything you ever wanted, why are you unhappy?”
This is the wrong question to ask.

The real question is:

“But YOU are in control of your life, what did you do TODAY to be happy?” That’s the mindset people should have. Dealing with their struggles, one day at a time. Having the courage to make a choice in order to be happy, regardless of their situation. Sure, it can be rather difficult. There’s no magic way to do it instantly. This is why cultivating habits is essential.

Things like: Meditation, uncluttering your space, Spending time with people you love, Taking care of your body, Making progress towards your goals

We can start now:

Of course, no one is perfect. Everyone will have mishaps. Everyone will have bad days. It’s only natural. The most important thing is to keep going, even after you fail. Establishing habits is about progress and progress is never linear. It has ups and downs.

Even the smallest steps each day will add up. The problem is that most people give up after their first failure. It’s the mindset, ever forward, that matters.

“Happiness is a habit, cultivate it”

Less Is More

In the end, everyone has the potential to lead a good life. Even if it means struggling and overcoming hurdles. But the sum of your daily choices will determine if you’re going to be happy in the long term. Perfection isn’t what you’re looking for. It’s the daily progress that will yield the most results.

While most people think making money, buying stuff, etc will make them happy, in reality, letting go leaves space to allow happiness to come. (We should take a look at children. They seem to be the masters on that subject.)

Happiness IS a choice. One that many people forget (or don’t want) to make. And they fool themselves by going after meaningless goals. Don’t make this mistake. Wake up every morning and be conscious of your decisions.

P.S- What do you do daily to make yourself happy? Comment below!

Success Habits: Start Here!

May 22, 2020 By Greg

You’ve read the motivational quotes. And watched the inspirational TED talks about success habits. You listen to the quotes from ancient Greek philosophers reminding you that “You are what you repeatedly do.” Over and over again, you’ve heard how it takes 21 to 65 days to form a successful habit. It seems simple; then reality sets in and it’s overwhelming and frustrating.

Now what?

Beyond the pages of superfluous books and click-bait videos, habit-forming requires discipline and persistence. It’s not an overnight event and requires diligence, hard work and planning to attain. Habits are the engine of success, and a good habit-forming strategy is crucial to thrive. Here are a few ACTIONABLE steps to include in your habit-forming strategy.

Small changes, Big time frames

Here’s a common fallacy in habit forming: chasing massive behavioral changes in short amounts of time. Underscoring this fallacy is a misunderstanding of a crucial function in habit success: time. Rather than chasing enormous habits (i.e running every day at 6 PM), smaller habits allowed to fester over long periods of time are much more likely to result in structural changes (i.e going for a short afternoon walk, every other day).

True change takes time – enormous changes are not always necessary; in fact they can be harmful. It’s completely human to give up on a large step chance, leaving you demoralized and in a worse position than when you started. Not only that, smaller habits support larger ones. Over time, those afternoon walks will slowly transition to 6 AM runs. In this way, you’re building habits that will last a lifetime.

One success habit at a time

Want to know the easiest way to make sure you stick to your New Year’s resolutions? Stop making resolutions – instead, set a SINGLE achievable resolution. You’re guaranteed to achieve it, and in good time. When people start actively habit forming, they take on far too much at once.

Striving to go from current state to a hyper-athletic, hyper-literate, hyper-successful industrialist in 6 months. By scattering effort to several habit-forming processes, you’ll struggle to nail a success habit.

Instead, it’s better to set a single success habit at a time and work towards it. The momentum of setting that habit will balloon into other ones. Over time, settings habits itself will become a habit, allowing you to start parallel efforts. But you have to let that happen naturally.

Gamification works

There is a lot of evidence out there that gamification – that is, attaching video-game style response/reward systems to guide your efforts – can have a real impact on habit forming. Consider adding large positive feedback loops, especially in the early days of habit forming.

Just went on a 20 minute walk? Fantastic – reward yourself with an hour or 2 of an activity you enjoy doing. The only rule you should follow for the rewards cycle is that the reward shouldn’t negate the benefits of the habit. In other words, don’t reward a 20 minute run with a slice of cake.

Over time, those reward cycles can get shorter and shorter until they’re not necessary at all.

Positive Self-Talk

While this sounds like a fluffy point, it’s actually the most important thing to consider on this list. One of the quickest paths to self-sabotage in habit forming is destructive self-talk. Social media and YouTube have added an exclamation point to this. It’s very common to compare yourself to productivity “gurus” and feel you’ve come up short.

Few people are waking up at 3 AM to go to the gym, hopping in a 20 minute cold shower before homeschooling their marvelously well-behaved kids while simultaneously running an 8 figure businesses. And the people that are doing that certainly weren’t doing that from day 1. It took years of yelping out of cold showers and lethargically crawling into a push up at 2 PM on a Saturday to get there.

Remember Step 1:

Whatever small action you’re taking will get you to where you need to go over time. Worrying about short term results is like grumbling 20 minutes into a 6 hour road trip. You’ll get there eventually, just sit tight and focus on the road.

Consider a 2nd opinion

People hire coaches for physical training, mental wellness & even improving their cooking skills. It’s odd, then, that people shy away from getting 3rd party help for the most important thing in life – personal growth. A good coach can do wonders for building a habit-system, and offers a singularly unique benefit: the ability to holistically figure out “compounding” habits.

Compounding habits are those that have a synergistic effect with each other. For example, improving your sleep cycle will naturally improve your performance at the gym, which will in turn improve your sleep cycle, and so on. It’s hard to structure these synergies yourself. An outside expert who sees how you respond to different habits and comes up with intelligent ways to organize them can be invaluable in this respect.

Whichever way you get there (and regardless of what the “gurus” tell you. There is no right path to successful habit forming. A strong foundation of habits is the basis of virtually any success story. The most important step is the first one. Taking that first step towards forming a new habit is critical.

From then on, it’s smooth sailing.

Check out: Habits of Happy and Successful People

Habit, Compulsion or Addiction?

August 28, 2019 By Greg

Habit, Compulsion or Addiction?

Understanding just how deeply entrenched a habit is, is a key step in knowing how to address it. Some habits are formed through conditioning, or repeat behavior. Others may be more ingrained and fulfill a physical or emotional need, or be the result of a chemical element. As the terms habit, compulsion and addiction have entered our vocabulary, they are often used inaccurately.

We define a habit, addiction and compulsion and explore the differences between these similar, but different conditions.

Habit

Habits are the result of repeated behaviors or actions. A habit is a learned association between a stimulus of some sort (e.g. red wine) and a response (drinking it) to achieve an outcome. (getting drunk or feeling good). Habits can be helpful or unhelpful. Knowing the nature of your habits is the first step in developing an effective habit strategy.

Addiction

Addiction is a broad term used to describe the process by which a person becomes dependent on a behavior or substance to survive. Over time, the behavior or substance becomes so crucial to the individual that they will continue with it, even when it becomes clear that it is harmful to themselves or their relationships with their family and loved ones.

Compulsion

Compulsions are an overwhelming urge to perform a specific action. While it is possible for compulsions to lead to the development of long-term behaviors, this isn’t always the case. Typically, compulsions come into play when an individual has the strong urge to perform an action or use a substance.

What’s the difference?

When differentiating between a habit, an addiction and a compulsion, there are a number of factors to consider.

Withdrawal symptoms

One of the key factors distinguishing an addiction from a habit or compulsion is withdrawal symptoms. Individuals that are in the habit of doing something would not typically experience withdrawals like depression or anxiety when they stopped engaging in the behavior or using a substance. Those that were addicted on the other hand would.

Risky situations

Addicts will go to great lengths to perform a behavior or consume a substance. They put themselves and those around them in danger by taking risks to satisfy their addictions. Willingly putting oneself in risky situations is telling and if an individual engages in this behavior, it’s likely that their habit has progressed into an addiction.

Feelings of pleasure

Unlike addiction, there is no element of pleasure in a compulsion. Those affected by obsessive-compulsive disorder, even when they are driven by compulsion, do not typically experience pleasure. To compare, individuals in the grips of an addiction usually experience a rush of pleasure when they perform the behavior or consume the substance that is the focus of their addiction.

There often comes a time for addicted individuals where they no longer gain a sense of pleasure from a substance or behavior, continuing to do it only to satisfy their addiction.

Awareness

Awareness of reality also comes into play when differentiating between a habit, addiction and compulsion. While those with strong compulsions are typically in touch with reality and are aware of the bizarre nature of their compulsions, those entrenched in habit or in the grips of an addiction are often unattached and care about little other than getting their next fix.

As we mentioned previously, habits, addictions and compulsions do have considerable overlap so proper diagnosis should only be performed by a trained healthcare professional. No two individuals are alike, and the specific diagnosis of an individual takes into account many factors specific to that person.

While the information above is accurate, it should be taken as a guide only and not in place of a proper medical opinion.

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-difference-between-an-addiction-and-a-compulsion-22240

Habit vs. Addiction: 4 Questions To Determine The Difference

Benefits of Mindfulness as a Habit

December 28, 2018 By Greg

With a quick internet search, you can find a helpful seven to ten step list for developing a mindful approach to nearly anything in your life.

A mindful way to…

Lose weight
Reduce stress
Improve business success
Recover from addiction
Raise kids
Be happier
Recover from depression
Cope with anxiety
Manage pain and chronic illness
Enhance sports performance

The possibilities are endless. We are truly in the midst of a mindfulness revolution.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is an innate part of being. Any time you literally stop to smell the roses or truly enjoy every bite of watermelon on a hot day, you are being mindful. Whenever you allow yourself to feel your sadness without distracting yourself with your smartphone, you are being mindful.

There are many ways to define mindfulness, but at its core it means to be fully present with whatever you are doing or experiencing without overwhelmed by external events or conditions.

It’s a practice of bringing your attention back to the present moment. While mindfulness is innate, it can be learned and improved as well, often through the practice of meditation.

It has its roots in Buddhist teachings, but it is a secular practice. Mindfulness is often credited to Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, who recognized the power of meditation to help reduce stress and developed an eight-week program called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) in the 1970s. He also created the Stress Reduction Clinic and Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as, “a means of paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmental.”

Does Mindfulness Really Help?

Whether or not mindfulness is effective depends on your goals for learning about the technique. Scientific research into the effects of mindfulness and meditation has only been going on for a few decades, but here are a few key areas in which mindfulness has been shown to improve people’s lives:

Stress

Thanks largely to John Kabat-Zinn’s medical background, there has been a growing body of evidence supporting the effectiveness of mindfulness for reducing stress. Additional studies have supported Kabat-Zinn’s initial findings.

Learning and Memory

A study at Harvard showed that meditation can increase gray-matter density in the hippocampus and decrease gray-matter density in the amygdala. It’s one of the first studies to show how meditation changes the brain for the better. These changes support better learning and memory functioning and lower stress levels.

Anxiety

Research from Massachusetts General Hospital, Bender Institute of Neuroimaging and Justus-Liebig University in Germany showed that mindfulness training can be effective in alleviating General Anxiety Disorder.

Post-Traumatic Stress

Researchers from University of Michigan demonstrated that mindfulness techniques could be helpful to combat veterans dealing with post-traumatic stress.

Depression

Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) has been shown to help prevent depressive relapses and reduce the dependence on antidepressant medication.

Addiction

Drawing from MBSR and MBCT, a new form of addiction treatment called Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention (MBRP) has been developed at the University of Washington to help individuals recover from addiction. Initial research shows the program has been effective in lowering the risk of relapse.

Chronic Pain

Pain is a subjective experience, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. One study showed that after four-days of mindfulness training, pain-unpleasantness decreased by more than 50%.

Sleep Problems

MBSR has been shown to lower sleep problem scores but research suggests that ongoing mindfulness is needed for these effects to continue.

Eating Disturbances and Weight-Loss

Mindful eating, or paying attention to the colors, smells, textures and flavors of what you are eating, may be able to help individuals who want to lose weight or who suffer from disordered eating such as binge eating. This is often one of the first exercises you do in an MBSR course.

Focus

Mindfulness is a way of training your brain to focus. Developing this skill can have significant implications on academic performance and sports performance.

Decision Making

A study from INSEAD and University of Pennsylvania suggested that a simple 15-minute mindfulness meditation could help individuals make better decisions and avoid typical sunk-cost biases.

Some of these studies have been criticized for their small sample size or lack of follow-up, but gradually research is becoming more robust. Developments in technology, such as functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) which can measure brain activity, are helping add credibility to research findings.

Get Ready to Meditate

Everyone defines happiness and success differently, but research suggests there are enough positive benefits to give mindfulness a try. When selecting a program or a new technique to learn, it’s important to evaluate the experience of the instructors and your goals to make sure it’s a good fit. With the rise of mindfulness – it’s approximately a $1 billion business in the US now – you should be able to find a high-quality mindfulness instructor in your area.

Wrapping It Up

Training your brain to focus and be mindful has lots of good benefits. Try it today for a minute and work your way up to 5 minutes at a time.

Yours Free: The 21 Daily Habits That Will Help You Succeed In Life