How to Change an Unwanted Habit

We need to change to get what we want in  life. But how?

Our problem is not usually a lack of knowledge. Understanding the science behind how habits work can help.

Our problem tends to be more of a lack of motivation or a lack of appropriate habits to help us reach these achievements.

We want to form new habits, but we find ourselves coming up short again and again. This is a habit in and of itself, and it can end today. Read on to learn more about the anatomy of an effective habit and how to start creating sustainable change in your life.

How are Habits Formed

We don’t just want to offer up platitudes such as “only 60 days to form a new habit!” It may sound catchy, but many of us would quit before day 60 without the proper approach or support in place, right? Instead, by understanding how habits are formed and function, we can learn how to develop effective and sustainable habits.

As James Clear, the prolific writer of habits and human behavior, states, “The process of building a habit can be divided into four simple steps: cue, craving, response, and reward.”

The four stages are essentially a feedback loop and each needs to be addressed in order for a habit to build and persist.

Learn How our Brains Work:

• • The cue can be waking up.
  • The cravings can be wanting to feel alert
  • The response is to drink your favorite caffeinated beverage
  • The rewards are feeling more alert and thus caffeine begins to be associated with your mornings

The feedback loop reinforces itself. The habit forms. And think about how many times a day this plays out in your life. Your habits may be so ingrained in your daily routine that you don’t realize you have a choice about them.

A Step-by-Step Guide to Developing an Effective, Long-lasting Habit

Your life is essentially a collection of habits, meaning if you want to make changes to your life, you’ll need to change your habits. Thankfully, we can use this feedback loop to learn how to build new habits too. Here are our step-by-step suggestions to help you through this process:

Identify the Habit

• You need to be specific if you want the new habit to stick.
• It’s best to start small and gradually scale up.
• As you experience success with small changes, it’ll be easier to find the motivation to continue the changes and build upon them.
• In order to be successful, you’ll need to focus on the process.
• Getting the small, actionable steps right is what is going to help you create the new habit.

Clarify the Feedback Process

• You can use the framework from above to help you take these small steps and turn them into self-reinforcing feedback.
• According to experts, you can create a good habit by asking yourself the following questions:
  • Cue: How can I make the cue obvious?
  • Craving: How can I make the craving attractive?
  • Response: How can I make the response easy?
  • Reward: How can I make the reward satisfying?

Create the Right Environment to Support the Change

• We have an internal resistance to change, even if we know the new behavior would be good for us.
• In order to counteract this natural tendency, it’s important to find or create a supportive environment that will make it easier to build good habits.
• Self-discipline is not always enough to find the motivation we need.
• Removing obstacles to your success from your physical environment.
• Connecting with others who are trying to build the same new habits can help foster a healthy environment for change.

Practice Daily

• Although we said no platitudes, science has shown that it can take more than two months to form a new habit (despite the claims of two weeks).
• Practicing daily will reinforce the feedback loop and help build the connections in your brain that will turn this new activity into a habit.
• There are online courses and apps to help remind you to stay on top of your progress.

Recover from Backsliding

• It happens, even with the best new habit builders can sometimes slip-up.
• Pause and remember “the why” – what was the main reason you wanted to make this new habit in the first place.
• Consider why you slipped up and determine if you need to make any changes to your feedback loop, actionable steps or environment

Build a New Habit

Ultimately, the best way to build a new habit is the one you will actually follow. Using the framework and steps above, overcome challenges and create sustainable new habits. Change is possible. You just have to start small and be persistent.

Check out this article on the science of habits.  Science of Habits

Need help?  

For a limited time Greg is offering laser coaching sessions at no charge to subscribers. Over the last several decades, Greg has coached and mentored scores of individuals to improve their lives by identifying habitual behaviors and what drives them, replacing unhelpful habits with effective ones.  To find out more about how laser coaching might benefit you, contact Greg at greg@habitwisdom.com